


April Fool's

by Bischedule (neunundneunzig)



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Drabble, Drinking, Fluff and Humor, Heartache, Love, M/M, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Pregnancy Scares
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-20
Updated: 2019-06-20
Packaged: 2020-05-15 12:43:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19295992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neunundneunzig/pseuds/Bischedule
Summary: Aziraphale learns about April Fool's pranks and plays an unexpectedly cruel one on Crowley.





	April Fool's

Aziraphale made his way up to Tadfield, chipper. He'd gotten himself a scooter recently, fond of his ride on Madam Tracy's. It was slow, but it did the trick for his rides around. Usually he went up to Tadfield with Crowley, but the demon was away on business. It wasn't the wiles of old he'd be interested in thwarting, but he still had balls in the air apparently. 

At first their little check ins with Adam Young were to make sure he was true to his new nature. But after a while, they started to really enjoy the little trips. They were, by all means, godfathers again. They'd visit often, bringing gifts and treats, and at times entertaining him and his friends with stories of the past. Adam's parents didn't seem to question it much at all. Crowley informed him that his mother was under the impression they were a homosexual couple that was good friends with Mrs. Device. He supposed the truth was much too complicated to explain. No one but Adam seemed to have a more concrete memory of the Apocalypse that Wasn't.

He and Crowley even battered around the idea of coming to teach at his school, but ultimately, they decided there was enough messing around of things by both sides. And though Aziraphale wouldn't say it, he'd grown quite attached to his bookshop. He didn't plan to leave as long as he could. 

But today he went to Tadfield alone. It was a pleasant drive, a warm spring day, not too hot, and only white fluffy clouds occasionally rolling by. He wondered how much Adam still held some dominion over weather and environment. He discussed it briefly with Anathema once over tea, and Newt said he was going to be sure to track it.

He pulled up and parked. Mrs. Young smiled and told him They were out in the woods. He chatted with her for a bit, saying Crowley was out on business, yes the weather was indeed lovely, and urging her to visit the shop sometime. He didn't like customers, no, but he made allowances to be polite. 

He went along the road, deciding to only put so much effort tromping around the sticks and wet grass before giving up and visiting with Anathema. 

As he was just giving up and turning around, three of the children ran up to him. 

"Aziraphale!" Pepper shouted urgently. Adam knew his name without being told. The other two were rather confused by it and took to calling him Mr. Fell. Pepper argued that knowing how to pronounce someone's name, no matter the strangeness, was important. He always liked her in particular, in part for getting him his sword back. 

"Aziraphale, come quick, something's happened!"

"It's Adam, he's hurt!" Brian added, but there was something strange in his voice. 

Aziraphale nodded in concern, "Yes, right, where is he?"

"Down just a ways. We were going to take him to Anathema, but I think it's his spine. You shouldn't move people who've hurt their spine." Wensleydale said with authority.

"Yes, right, take me to him."

They brought him through the woods. The hem of his pants was gathering dirt, but he pushed that thought away.

He gasped, spotting him. He was twisted up and still, lying near the bottom of a small cliff. There was, oh, Aziraphale thought he saw some blood. He rushed up, rubbing his hands together. He didn't quite know how to explain a miracle to the children, and these ones were not easily fooled. 

"Adam? Adam, can you hear me?" He crouched by him, feeling for a pulse. Oh. The boy felt a bit cold. He put two fingers to his neck, stomach dropping. 

"Boo!" Adam leapt up, "April Fool's!"

Aziraphale jumped back, falling into the dirt and getting some of the… no, blood certainly didn't smell this much like raspberry. The Them burst all into a little fit of laughter. Aziraphale frowned. He stood and dusted himself off. He'd get Crowley to deal with the stains later. 

"Now why would you do that, Adam?" Aziraphale frowned.

"It's April Fool's! It's just a prank. Besides, I thought They were just going to get Crowley with it." Adam smiled. He knew the wily serpent would be much more one to appreciate a good prank. 

"Well Crowley's out most of today and I don't understand what the month has to do with a horrible joke like this."

"It's April first, that's April Fool's Day." Brian smiled. 

"It's a holiday for pranking people, playing jokes and tricks and such." Adam smiled. 

Children can be awful, cruel little beasts, Aziraphale thought. He said, "Well! You got me very good."

He walked Them back to the town as they chatted on about the spirit of the holiday. 

"You scare people a bit sometimes. Or trick them." "Like gluing 50p to the pavement." "Or faking being pregnant." "Or like messing with their food."

"Those all sound horrible. You really shouldn't do such things to anyone."

"You're right Adam, we should've gotten Crowley, he's the fun one." Brian sighed. 

Aziraphale backpedaled. He smiled, "Well I do like some trickery… do you children like magic?" He grinned and pulled a coin from Adam's ear. 

"That's sleight of hand." Pepper frowned, "Anathema does real magic. She taught us all about ley lines."

"Well I can be fun." He pouted. The Them grinned at one another. Finding a sore spot to needle on adults was a great joy for Them. 

"Well then you should really do something for April Fool's. That would make you really fun." Adam smiled.

"I will! I'll…"

"Prank Crowley." Pepper grinned.

"Yes! The wily old thing will never see it coming!"

They grinned at one another. Aziraphale was already hyping himself up, wracking his brain for ideas. 

"Now that would make you very cool." Adam smiled, "You'll have to report back to us on your next visit."

"Oh yes… yes, I'll get him good."

* * *

Aziraphale giggled to himself, waiting for Crowley to arrive. He arranged the table, a warm mug of cocoa for himself, and an unopened bottle and glass sitting out for Crowley. He waited patiently, seemingly unaware that it had already passed into April second. He'd finished his cocoa by the time Crowley sauntered in. 

"Hey angel, how was Adam?" He smiled.

"Good, good. Please, sit." Aziraphale gestured. 

Crowley sat and poured himself a full glass, taking a drink before frowning, "None for you?"

"No, no, I don't suppose so." Aziraphale sighed despondently. This was a bit fun, being able to act and put on a show for Crowley. 

"Something wrong with it?" He sipped again. 

"No, not the wine." He slurped his cocoa. 

"Something else? Listen, I've already told you, my little dealings are-"

"I'm pregnant." Aziraphale barely suppressed a smile. 

Crowley stared at him for a long while, then took a long drink. "You're… pregnant?"

"Yes. It seems there was a bit of a… oh a bit of a mix up with my organs in my new body, following the apocalypse. Came away with poor Madam Tracy's insides, not that she ever planned on bearing children herself."

"...And you're…" Crowley got up, starting to pace, "You…. So you've been…" he stared at the bookshelf, "Who's the lucky lad then?"

"Pardon?"

"The father." Crowley spit, "Who knocked you up?"

"Oh Crowley." Aziraphale stood, walking over and placing a hand on his shoulder, "It's you."

Crowley spun around, looking bewildered, "Me?! But we've _certainly_ never…"

"Yes. I spoke with Jegudiel. He's merciful, would not betray me to heaven. He said it has demonic energy to it. And well... No other demon has been in my body in any way beside our little switch. He figured it was all a very precise, unique mix up." Aziraphale rubbed his nose to hide his little grin. Oh, he'd made this all so believable. It was one of the most clever stories he'd come up with. 

Crowley's expression softened, "Or perhaps something… ineffable."

Aziraphale blinked.

Crowley took his glasses off. His pupils were a little wider. He held his hand close to Aziraphale stomach and whispered, "May I?" 

"Er, Well, yes."

Crowley put a hand on his stomach. An elated, honest smile crossed his face, "Our child… oh…"

Aziraphale watched his gentle touch. Was this how pranks were supposed to go? He was starting to feel rather awful about the whole thing. 

"Ours…" Crowley stared for a bit, then pulled Aziraphale into a tight hug, one hand clasped at the back of his neck. He muttered in his ear gently, "No one's seen anything like this before. They're going to try to come for you. Heaven, Hell, maybe others. I won't let them. I won't let any of them hurt a hair on your or the child's head, understand?"

He pulled off slowly, moving his hands to cup Aziraphale's face, "Nothing is more important to me than this now. I love you, Aziraphale."

He kissed his forehead gently, then took his glass in hand again, leaning on the shelf, "Oh… a baby… A baby Aziraphale! Names, have you thought about names?"

Aziraphale was looking at him pitifully. 

"No, no, don't be scared, I mean it, I won't ever let-"

"April Fool's?" Aziraphale winced. 

Crowley stared at him. 

"Adam, er, suggested I prank you."

"....you're…. Not pregnant."

"No."

"...of course not." Crowley stepped away, swiping up his glasses and putting them back on, "Good one, Aziraphale. Stupid of me to…"

Aziraphale sighed, watching him. There was hurt in his voice. This was a terrible idea, an awful thing to do to his friend. He shifted, "I'm sorry, Crowley, I didn't think…"

"Naaaah, don't worry about it. It was funny." He drained his glass and refilled it, "Really a step up on your game there." 

"Crowley?" He said softly. 

"Mmhm?" Crowley grunted as he drank more. 

"I do love you too, you know."

Crowley set his glass down, "Of course I know you love me. Didn't really feel like I even needed to say it before, I figured you knew too."

"I did, my dear."

"Right. Well. Ever pull that again and I'll stop loving you, got it?" He smiled and handed him the glass of wine, grabbing himself the bottle.

Aziraphale nodded and sipped, "No more pranks, I absolutely agree."


End file.
